Finding God in the Silence
Where Do I See Myself in the Story?
Before we go any further, let me be honest with you.
This is the day where the text stops being distant and starts getting personal.
Yesterday we sat with God’s silence.
Today we sit with ourselves.
As I read Esther chapter 1 again, I realized something. It’s easy to critique the king. It’s easy to have opinions about Vashti. It’s easy to observe the chaos of the story from the outside.
But the harder question is this:
Where am I in this chapter?
Let's Break It Down
When I read Esther chapter 1 through this lens, I notice how quickly pride shows itself, not just in kings, but in people.
The king isn’t struggling because he lacks power. He’s struggling because power has started to shape his identity. Honor has become something he needs instead of something he stewards.
That made me pause.
Because pride does not always look loud. Sometimes it looks subtle.
Sometimes it sounds like entitlement.
Sometimes it hides behind success.
Sometimes it grows quietly when things are going well.
As I sat with the text, I had to ask myself questions I don’t always like asking.
Where have I reacted emotionally instead of responding wisely?
Where have I allowed my position to justify my behavior?
Where have I expected affirmation instead of practicing humility?
This chapter reminds me that pride doesn’t always announce itself. Often, it reveals itself through impulsive decisions, unmet expectations, and the need to be seen.
And then there is Vashti.
Her refusal invites another layer of reflection. Whether we see her as bold, resistant, misunderstood, or wronged, her decision disrupts the system. And disruption always forces us to examine our posture.
So I asked myself:
Where have I resisted something God was using to shape me?
Where have I dug my heels in because my pride felt threatened?
Where have I reacted instead of discerning what God might be doing?
This is not about assigning blame. It’s about self-awareness.
Esther chapter 1 teaches me that before God rearranges systems, He often exposes hearts. And sometimes, the heart He’s addressing is mine.
Sitting With the Discomfort
One of the most challenging parts of this chapter is realizing that everyone involved thought they were right.
The king thought he was exercising authority.
The advisors thought they were protecting order.
Vashti thought she was standing her ground.
And yet, God was still working beyond all of them.
That humbles me.
It reminds me that being confident in my position does not automatically mean I am aligned with God’s purpose. Alignment requires humility, reflection, and a willingness to be corrected.
Finding Yourself
Let me ask you what I had to ask myself.
Where do I see traces of pride in my reactions?
Where have I confused honor with entitlement?
Where has comfort made me careless?
Where might God be inviting me to pause and reflect instead of defend and explain?
This chapter is not meant to condemn us. It’s meant to invite us into honesty.
Because transformation begins with awareness.
Let's Pray
God, search my heart.
Show me where pride has crept in quietly.
Teach me to steward honor with humility and influence with wisdom.
Help me to pause before I react and to reflect before I respond.
I want to be aligned with You, not just confident in myself.
Amen.
Scripture
Esther 1
Proverbs 16:18
James 1:19–20